We Sing Very Loud
21 plays

The most recent productive musical thing I’ve done with myself. A wee, rough mix of just me and my guitar.

Copyrighted Content. All Rights Reserved.

This. This and then this rain.

This. This and then this rain.

"Do you remember what we talked about? I just remember your face. The prettiest thing that i had ever seen."David Childers’ The Prettiest Thing

"Do you remember what we talked about? I just remember your face. The prettiest thing that i had ever seen."
David Childers’ The Prettiest Thing

long time gone

I finished a song yesterday. A full song. Not the first few bits with a chorus and some nice daydreams about where the song would go. The whole thing. It’s done. I can’t wait to share it!

One of my very best friends and jam buddies from home is moving to Pittsburgh today. She has no idea what she’ll be doing, who it is she’s living with, or why exactly she’s doing it. But she’s doing it.

What a ballsy little pistol.

Welcome to Pgh, Devin Bowes.

boringroses:

sometimes you gotta kiss your lady in the graveyard. 

Just one more re-blog for my friend Yoey. <3 he’s real good.

boringroses:

sometimes you gotta kiss your lady in the graveyard. 

Just one more re-blog for my friend Yoey. <3 he’s real good.

I’m back. I’m here. I’m writing again. I’m singing again.

I wrote this song a few months ago. The first half came while sitting at work- an empty restaurant filled with nothing but me, a cook, my manager, the meatloaf special and my emotions. I was hungry, bored, feeling particularly alone, staring out the window at wealthy people scaling up and down Walnut street for the perfect pants suit or the best sushi roll or the skinniest latte. That kind of stuff. Everyone looking for everything that would somehow improve them or keep them busy from themselves for just a little bit longer.

The next morning I wrote the second verse sitting in a coffee shop staring at everyone- no shame staring. Me staring at couples staring at each other over those lattes. Coffee cup love. I had that once in high school. I thought I was going to marry the first boy I ever loved. We’d go to Starbucks, we’d get drinks, we’d be perfectly content with our plans to rent a movie at Blockbuster (there’s a real time stamp for you) indulge in high school social gatherings, experiment with alcohol, sex and the like. He was truly wonderful. I thought I was set, just like these couples in the coffee shop enjoying their daily doses of coffee cup love. But it faded. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was just life happening to our little never-been-broken hearts.

But on this day in the coffee shop, years later, I felt like I was the only one in the room without any idea regarding my other half’s whereabouts. So I felt like I had to look for him. So, as I sing in the song, I look for him in cigarettes and gin and the company of the lonely. It’s so wonderful to join up with the other lonely troops. Form the lonely hearts club, drink a few cocktails and smoke out on the fire escape. Forget about it being alone. But that doesn’t really work, does it? The smoke clears. You’re still lonely you at the end of the night when people leave. But this song really was about embracing it. Embracing the lonely and letting myself be a 20-something, unsteady loving, little girl. 

It’s been my favorite song to play out, as of late. It is Coffee Cup Love.

Hunger pains and window panes and lonely all the same-
roaming knowing there’s no bus for catching.
And if I did bet, I’d wager that I’m on my way to loving..
But my luck left me some time ago- same with my sense of direction.

Now I’m closer to old than yesterday. I’m farther from 16
I’m wondering if everyone in here has found it.
Cause they got coffee cup love. It keeps them young and it makes them run for each other
As for me, I think I ran myself right around it.

So I look for him in cigarettes and gin and the company of the lonely,
but the smoke it clears and I’m drunk on tears & I wonder if I’m the only
little girl here with a little fear that hides behind a pretty face.
It can’t just be me. There’s gotta be my second heart.
He’s just sitting at a different window.

So there’s a boy out here I’ve known for years
and he says ‘you’re such a story; I never know which way your pages turn.’
He says ‘you’re a 20-something unsteady loving little girl inside.
Why don’t you just sit back & enjoy the ride?’

But still I look for him in cigarettes and gin and the company of the lonely,
but the smoke it clears and I’m drunk on tears & I wonder if I’m the only
little girl here with a little fear that hides behind a pretty face.
It can’t just be me. There’s gotta be my second heart.
He’s just sitting at a different window.

"And suddenly the world of music makes a little bit of sense. Not that it needs to or should." - M. Ward

I’ve been gone from Tumblr for so long the website forgot who I was. It was like we broke up. They moved on! I had to re-log in. That says a lot.

I’ve been wondering how many lulls and moments of zero inspiration it takes to finally reach that constant state of need, move, go get exactly what you want. Go find the perfect space. Are there a certain number of Tumblr hiatuses and days without touching my guitar because the thought of writing makes me feel inadequate and moments of doubt and fear before I am actually ready to dedicate my entire life to what I want to do?

No.

I guess if it were that easy, (if we had a quota of moments of self-doubt before being okay), then finally getting where we want or where the universe needs us—whether it’s a state of mind or a physical place or a feeling— wouldn’t feel as euphoric. 

Anyway. I’m back. I’m ready again. I met someone who is showing me not only adequacy but belief in doing what my heart needs me to do whether it means not sleeping or being terrified or rejected. It’s about embracing the fear and the rejection and the potential failure and the endless coffee late into the night to finish a song.

"When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you’ll be successful."

It’s about everything in this video. Yes, I realize this is a video about hockey, but what it really comes down to- whether it’s hockey, music, art, photography, stripping, WHATEVER- is being passionate about finding exactly what you are meant to do while you’re on this earth. 

Thank you Ira- from a beginner.

Thank you Ira- from a beginner.

The Beehive. Performing live always reminds me why I love it all so much. Who would’ve thought?